Coping with everything..

I have found that getting everything out either by writing or talking helps me a lot. Writing more so because I can always go back and remind myself of certain things, or maybe even help others.. I told myself I didn't want to write anymore on Facebook regarding this matter. I know there are people who don't want or care to know, and others who it might just depress by reading. So to update where we stand..

The ultrasound on Friday showed everything was the same.. So my body wasn't taking care of it, yet. I was pretty saddened by this, but knew I had only been bleeding fully for one day... Come that night, everything got worse.. I was cramping really badly, it felt like labour.. I was not expecting it at all.. But I think I passed what I needed to.. I could be wrong, there might still be more... But I hope that was everything. It was terrible experiencing that pain all over again. Of course I thought of when I gave birth to my kiddos, cuz it was the exact same pain, minus actually giving birth.. Had to remember to breathe.. As crying due to pain. And couldn't help but think how much it sucked cuz I had no focal point.. Like with childbirth, I thought of the end result.. I couldn't do it this time.. It hurt so much..

Eventually around 1130 (5.5 hours after the cramping started) it started to ease off a bit, then I finally fell asleep. In the morning, I woke up to more cramping, tolerable though. Towards the middle of the day it started getting uncomfortable.. And as I sit here right now, I'm having more cramping that's pretty painful..

Adam has been a huge help through it all obviously. I'm so glad his work gave him the leave. Cuz I sure needed him all this time. He's helping to keep the kids occupied so I can try to get through this cramping as comfortably as I can.. Without being disturbed. I just wish I could have him with me through all the cramping cuz he's a great coach.

Oh ya, and breastfeeding through all this, definitely no walk in the park :(